some days i feel unchanging.

or stuck.

today for example.

i feel old.

older then my age.

in a unsatisfying way.

or somedays

i simply feel

crowded

and unloving

i find it hard

to truely like

anything.

i feel like i have a wall.

or a heavy surface.

and i hate it.

no one can simply break it.

even those who could before.

i dont budge.

as much i want to.

i cant let myself feel anything.

towards anyone.

i think im a broken bone.

or a scar tissue.

how they get torn and broken over time.

and they come back stronger then before.

larger and less frail.

less likely to be broken again.

but i dont want to be numb.

i miss being feeble.

shifting.

willing.

amicable.